Congrats! You’re engaged! And since you are jewish, you will want a ketubah. You’ve found one online. Not too hard yet. Next step–personalization, and that’s where it can get unclear! Of course, there’s the basic information that, if you don’t know it already, you’re in deep weeds–such as the bride and groom’s names, the wedding date, and where it is taking place. But it can get a bit mystifying as you go further to hebrew names, etc.
Below find the 5 must-know tricks for personalizing your ketubah.
1) Let your officiant do it! Well, maybe not actually do the ketubah personalization itself (have you SEEN your officiant’s handwriting?) but your officiant should provide the information. Seriously, your ketubah is most likely to be correctly personalized if your rabbi or cantor supplies the information your ketubah artist needs.
2) Hebrew names should not be made up. Hebrew names should not be made up for non-jewish parties. Rather, ask your ketubah vendor to transliterate your name–phonetically spell it out in hebrew characters. And if you’re jewish with a yiddush name, ask your officiant if you can use that or if he or she will require you to use an equivalent Hebrew name instead (e.g. Sarah instead of Sorah).
3) Include parents but not grandparents. In Hebrew, your name is typically something like: “Rachel, daughter of Joshua and Sarah.” Of course, your father, Joshua, is technically “Joshua, son of Samuel and Rivka,” and your mother “Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Talia.” But just stick to your parents. Saying “Rachel, daughter of Joshua, son of Samuel and Rivka, and Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Talia” is just too complicated. So end it with your parents’ level. Parents names are not required, so you may instead leave them out. And leave our all last names.
4) Time of ceremony before or after sunset. The Hebrew day runs from sundown to sundown. So when you complete your ketubah information, you will need to know whether your ceremony will actually take place before or after sunset to get the proper hebrew date.
5) Conservative or Orthodox wedding? You will have to provide more details, including the bride’s “status” (whether this is the bride’s first marriage–or more technically, whether she is a virgin–or if she’s been married before and divorced or widowed, and if she’s converted), if the father of the bride and/or groom is a levite or cohain (it probably means “no” if you don’t not know), and whether your rabbi or cantor wants the ‘regal’ – the descending part of the letter in the ‘koof’ – in the word ‘v’kaninah’ to be filled in or left out. Let’s make it easy – talk to your officiant about these items for personalizing your ketubah text.
It’s always a good idea to consult your officiant, but with these suggestions, your ketubah should be personalized the right way.